Getting the hang of it

I think I'm finally starting to get the hang of this liquid diet business. I will refer to a great line by "Emily" in a Devil Wears Prada to explain how I'm handling it.

"I'm on this new diet. Well, I don't eat anything and when I feel like I'm about to faint I eat a cube of cheese."

That about sums it up. 

In other news, I did quite a bit of cooking today (not for me, of course). This morning I made monkey bread, and this afternoon I made crock pot chicken pot pie (with Grands! biscuits for the crust part), three bean salad, and baked mac and cheese. Oooh lala. Well at least Brent ate good today! I am going to freeze some of the leftovers so he can enjoy some night when I don't feel like cooking post-op. Though I can't imagine when that would be because I always want to cook. 

So far today I have had 3 shakes (Bariatric Advantage). I am supposed to have 5 I think, I don't think I'm going to make it as it is already 7pm. I think I might only have 1 more in me for today. But all in all I am pretty happy with myself. 

Walgreens and Bath and Body Works Haul

Shopping day!

I started off at Walgreens, where my main objective was to drop off two prescriptions that I need in liquid form for post op. Of course, I left with more things than I intended!

Of note:

• GasX strips (this is to alleviate the gas that gets trapped up in your shoulder after surgery. Weird, I know)
• Walgreens brand Benefiber (for pre and post op)
• Walgreens brand Fiber gummies (for a few weeks post op)

Thats the boring stuff. Fun stuff:

• 3 Essie polishes (they were buy 3 get a top coat free!) in fall colors of course: Roarrrange, Mink Muffs, and Mochachino
• Ology Gently Soothing Fragrance Free Facial Towelettes (never tried this brand but got them for makeup removal)
• Olay Body Lotion - Ultra Moisture (i'm REALLY picky about body lotion but I'll try it)
• Aussie 3 Minute Miracle - Smooth Treatment (stay tuned for review!)
• Bombshell Intense Eye Liner - Covergirl (i really want to master liquid liner, but didn't want to invest just yet)
  
  
  
  
  

Then, I went to Bath and Body Works for "Wallflowers" which I am obsessed with. I actually can't use any of the scented lotions, bath gels, or other items because I have sensitive skin but I CAN use all of their candles and fragrances for the home. Which I do. A lot.

I walked in looking for a few fall scented Wallflowers and plug-ins. A funny thing about me, I cannot STAND a stale smelling house. And when you are in an apartment, things can get a little yuck (especially with 3 cats). Anyway.

A note on the actual Wallflowers plug in device. These things don't last long enough in my opinion. I feel like I am forever replacing them! But in the end, I haven't found another home scent delivery system (hehe) that I like as much as Wallflowers. My favorite scent purchase of the day was Autumn Mums. Love it!

But the really cool thing I picked up at the register was a canister thingy of fall-scented goodies they had on special if you spent $30. You could get it for $25 and it is priced at $70 or something. So I had to have it. It has 2 full size hand soaps, a lotion and a shower gel (hello, Christmas gift giving!), 3 mini candles, a house spray, and a really cute pumpkin shower pouf. There may be other stuff in there that I forgot. Anyway it was an impulse buy but I'm happy with it! Also I can use that canister for gifts.

Oh one more thing. I got some shea-infused fuzzy socks that look like raccoons that were called "Snuggle Bandit." And they have grippy things on the bottom so they are definitely coming with me to the hospital!

1 week pre-op

Greetings! I am now officially one week pre-op for surgery. I am soooo ready! Today I attended my anesthesia pre-op appointment at Rex Surgery Center of Cary and its starting to feel real. I got to see the pre-op and recovery areas, as well as the overnight area. Mom went with me because she will be staying with me the whole time, including overnight. She is thrilled, lol. We saw the super comfy recliner she will be "sleeping" in (hint: sarcasm). So I'm stoked!

In other news, I have really been struggling with the pre-op "diet." More like pre-op starvation. I am sad to say I have only managed to gain weight over the past few weeks, today weighing in at 240lb. My big pie in the sky goal (mmm, pie) is to lose 10lb by surgery day. It sounds kinda crazy but I actually think it might be possible, considering that I will be on clear liquids at least a day or so before surgery. And if I really make my best effort to adhere to the rest of it, which is strictly liquids from here on out, I think I should get close. We'll see.

The other part of the pre-op hell i've been struggling with is depression. I've really had some tough days lately. Mostly feeling down on myself for not being able to be "perfect" with my pre-op diet, worrying that somehow I will therefore fail with reaching my post-op goals, mourning being able to stuff my face, etc. Its a rough road, to be sure. However, I have been able to reach out to some of my virtual support group via BariatricPal.com and that has been immensely helpful. Sounds like we are all going through the same thing (I belong to a group that all has surgery scheduled on the same date or thereabouts).

Lastly, a comment on medical professionals. More specifically, the questions they ask. I have discovered that I really, really, REALLY hate it when someone asks me how much weight I was able to lose with the Lap Band. I know its just part of taking the medical history, but I'm telling you, I feel so judged. For anyone interested, the answer is only 25 lb, which I gained back and lost about 5 times over the course of 2 years. And at some point, developed a hietal hernia that affected my ability to maximize the effectiveness of the Band. Its a sensitive subject! But whatevs. I can only hope that each time I am asked it is for medical reasons and not for the reason I am thinking which is "If you couldn't lose weight with the Band what makes you think you will be successful with the sleeve? Loser."

Well, its about time for shake #4 of the day. I think I may vom.

My name is...

Shake zula, the mic rula, the old schoola, you want a trip, I’ll bring it to ya

Frylock and I'm on top, rock you like a cop, Meatwad, you up next with your knock-knock

Meatwad make the money see, Meatwad get the honeys G, Drivin' in my car, livin’ like a star, Ice on my fingers and my toes and I'm a Taurus

Uh! Check-check it, yeah.

Cause we are the Aqua Teens, make the homies say ho and the girlies wanna scream!

Cause we are the Aqua Teens, make the homies say ho and the girlies wanna scream!

Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Number one in the hood, G.

So yeah, just a little tribute to the Aqua Teens. Especially Shake, with whom I am identifying nowadays. I just feel like a big, angry, (protein) shake.

Also, if you have never seen the show, its worth it just to indulge at least once. At least just to hear Meatwad talk. He's the guy on the right. 

Thats all. 

An update

Hello! Its been a little while, mostly because I was embarrassed to report that I had been not doing so well on my self imposed "extended" pre-op diet. Its so hard! (understatement of the century) Especially with a regular sized stomach and basically no will power. But I have managed to keep off about 10-11 lb from my starting weight so I am happy with that (my surgeon was too!)

But, for serious, the real pre-op begins on Tuesday. Like the real deal, no cheating, poop your brains out, 5 shakes a day pre-op. Le sigh. However, I think it will be easier than what I have been doing because I will know it is finally "time." Like there will actually be ramifications if I cheat during the 2 weeks prior to surgery. Namely, not getting to have the surgery. So, we will be behaving. We shall not be happy about it, but we will be behaving.

Countdown and a sad goodbye

The surgery countdown is beginning! I have a big pre-op appointment tomorrow morning with my surgeon that I'm pretty excited about. I will share details tomorrow.

In other news, I just found out that Robin Williams died and I'm pretty upset about it. I LOVED Mork and Mindy re-runs as a kid, and I still think that Mrs. Doubtfire was one of the best movies ever. One time I was talking to my mom on the phone when she was an extra on the set of Patch Adams (random), he walked by and shook her hand, while we were on the phone. So thats my celebrity connection.

Of course, it is sadder still that Mr. Williams suffered from apparently poorly managed depression throughout his lifetime, and I can only hope that his friends and family were as loving and supportive as possible through his illness. From the early statements I have read that have been put out by his wife, it appears as though they were.

So. A sad farewell to a great actor who definitely had an impact on my life. I foresee a flurry of commemorative news stories and virtual awareness rallies regarding depression and suicide, which hopefully will bring this important issue to the forefront, though I'm sure only briefly.

On that note, signing off now. Or as Mork would say... Na-nu, Na-nu.

Weekly Weigh In 8/10/14

Well, this is disappointing. I weighed in this morning, and the scale only showed a -0.5lb loss from last week. I choose to believe that this is not accurate... However, there are a few factors that could have caused a tiny loss.

First of all, its that time of month. Secondly, I had a lot of diet soda yesterday. Also, I haven't been absolutely *perfect* with my diet this week and had more sodium than usual. However, I haven't been imperfect enough to only show a -0.5 loss. This is what I choose to believe.

So, here is my plan. I'm going to drink a lot of water and Powerade Zero today, work out, and just stick to my guns. And then I'm going to have a good week. And next Sunday, the scale will show it. Also, I might get a new scale today. Hehe.

I hope everyone is having a good weekend! Cheers.

For the Pork Rind Lover Who Has Everything

Brent loves pork rinds. Loves them. But what he doesn't love, are the nutrition facts. So he has been on a hunt for a way to enjoy one of his favorite snacks without the guilt. Luckily, there exists a wondrous product called Chef Piggy Tail Microwave Pork Puffies, which I affectionately have started calling "Piggy Porky Puffs." Let me show you them.

This little package of Piggy Porky Puffs contains 32 servings of pork rinds. You just pop these little guys in the microwave for a minute or so and they pop, or pork, right up! And they are SO YUMMY (I had to try!)... And I'm not crazy about pork rinds, period. They would also definitely satisfy a serious crunch craving. And the best part? Check out these nutrition facts:

If you compare that to the traditional, pre-puffed variety... its pretty amazing. And on top of THAT, you have the ingredients list:

Nothing scary there!

So there you go. My 110% stamp of approval for Chef Piggy Tail Microwave Pork Puffies. Or, Piggy Porky Puffs. Whichever you prefer. 

A rant

This is a rant that has a special place in my heart. I'm not just talking about a pet peeve here, a slight annoyance, or even a bitch move. I'm talking about the ultimate affront, at least in my book. But enough set-up, lets get into it. I'm callin 'em out, right now.

Women Who Ask Other Women if they are Pregnant

What, in the literal fuck. 

Who do you think you are, and what in holy hell makes you think you have the RIGHT to inquire about the status of my uterus.

So I'm fat, of child bearing age, and carry a lot of weight around my middle. I get it. I look like I *could* be pregnant. But unless I am wearing a neon sign around my neck that says "Hey, I got knocked up. PLEASE ask me about it" there is absolutely NO reason you should be inquiring. Or worse, assuming. 

Take this simple bitch I ran into today, for example - my inspiration for this rant. I'm puttering around in Harris Teeter, minding my own business, when I am approached by a colleague (specifically, an ACQUAINTANCE, who I have spoke to once in my life at a conference...I don't even know her name). She immediately motions to my stomach and says, "How are you feeling?!" with a big ol' shit eating grin on her face. Like she knows me. Like she knows my uterus. 

Taken by surprise, I awkwardly say, "Fine!" and smile back at her. To make sure SHE doesn't realize her error, to make sure SHE is comfortable. Then she says, "Well, you look GREAT!" and walks away - blissfully unaware that she has just wrecked my entire day.

Of note, this is not NEARLY this first time that this particular scenario has happened to me over the years. You would think I would be used to it by now, that I could just laugh it off - hell, maybe I should just give her a break, she was just trying to be NICE. And judging by the small amount of evidence I gathered about this woman's personality at that conference, I will tell you, she seems to be a perfectly nice person. Exceptionally nice, even. But this does not make the offense any less horrific. 

I don't think I even need to delineate the specific levels of offensiveness, but I will anyway. When you ask a woman if she is pregnant, you:

1) Are essentially calling the person out, in public, for being overweight - or not appearing of "normal" body shape and size. Although, don't think anyone would be any less insulted if you did this in private. 

2) Are taking a huge risk of damaging their emotional health, even if temporarily. You have no IDEA of their reproductive history and what you could be triggering. Let's just leave it at that.

3) Are really just being a total ass. You have no inkling of the extent their struggle with weight may have directly affected the fact that they are not currently pregnant (if they want to be). But thanks for bringing it up. 

At this point, you may be saying to yourself, "Why give women all the flack? Men do this too!" Yes, yes they do. A lot. But men are dumb when it comes to this stuff (all but my loving husband, of course!). And in my opinion, and maybe in my dream world, a woman should have more sense, more empathy, more awareness.

But today, I was utterly disappointed. Thats all. 

Torani haul and other fun stuff

I got a lot of cool stuff today! First off, I am most excited about my Torani haul from World Market. I got tipped off by Bariatric Foodie (check out her blog here) who tweeted today that Torani SF (sugar free) syrups were on sale for $5.99 each today! They are typically $7.99. So, I got five!

SF Hazelnut, Almond Roca, Coconut, Salted Caramel, and Almond!

There are some really great ideas for protein shakes using these Torani syrups in this book I got today in the mail (also by Bariatric Foodie).

Lastly, got my Click decaf protein shake mix today! Caffeine isn't recommended for a little while post-op, but I have to have my coffee! Can't wait to try :)

And after all this excitement, I came home to this: 

Say hi, guys! 

Weekly Weigh In 8/3/14

A little bit of confusion on this weigh in... My husband has been telling me forever that our scale is wonky and routinely "weighs heavy" on the first try. He suggests weighing 3 times, and he says the last 2 are usually the same and several pounds less than the first try so that is the one he "counts" (sounds like we may need a new scale?) 

Anyway, my first attempt put me at 241lb which is -7 for the week. But then I got on again and it said 237, which puts me at -11 for the week. I didn't weigh a 3rd time because I simply don't have the patience. Lets just say I definitely lost! I can notice a little in my face. 

Ode to Oh Yeah!

I love Oh Yeah! shakes. Yes, yes I do. This is what they look like:

So as you can see, they are perfect for bariatric patients because of high protein (32 g/bottle!) and low carbs. I like the pre-mixed ones for work or for when I am too lazy to mix one up. They taste really good too! By far my favorite brand right now. To me, cookies and creme is the best flavor, followed by banana, followed by chocolate. I have not tried any of the others... not really a fan of strawberry or vanilla shakes in general.

The Vitamin Shoppe

Discovered The Vitamin Shoppe tonight and I'm pretty stoked about it. I think I like it better than GNC. Well, I know I do. Because they carry a lot of stuff that GNC doesn't, or at least, they keep it in stock, and they seem to have reasonable prices. For example, they had:

1. CASES of Isopure (the pre-mixed glass bottles) - in multiple flavors
2. CASES of Oh Yeah! pre-mixed protein shakes
3. Oh Yeah! protein powder tubs

To compare, I have been in 3 GNC's this week looking for cases of Isopure and not one store has had them. I need them for my clear liquid stage of my pre-op and post-op. Now, that won't be for awhile, but I want to make sure I get the best price because that shiz is expensive. Also:

So I picked up a case of Oh Yeah! in my fave flavor - Cookies and Cream - for only $35.99! That comes out to about $2.99/bottle which is so much better than buying them separately, which I have been doing for quite awhile at a different store. I also got a bottle of fiber gummies, only 5mg fiber/serving but from what I can tell that is pretty standard.

I also got a couple of single bottles of Isopure to try, before I buy a whole case of one flavor. I got coconut and green tea flavors tonight. I'm sure they will be nasty, lol... based on my previous experience with Isopure, which I will from now on refer to as "Isopuke."