This is a rant that has a special place in my heart. I'm not just talking about a pet peeve here, a slight annoyance, or even a bitch move. I'm talking about the ultimate affront, at least in my book. But enough set-up, lets get into it. I'm callin 'em out, right now.
Women Who Ask Other Women if they are Pregnant
What, in the literal fuck.
Who do you think you are, and what in holy hell makes you think you have the RIGHT to inquire about the status of my uterus.
So I'm fat, of child bearing age, and carry a lot of weight around my middle. I get it. I look like I *could* be pregnant. But unless I am wearing a neon sign around my neck that says "Hey, I got knocked up. PLEASE ask me about it" there is absolutely NO reason you should be inquiring. Or worse, assuming.
Take this simple bitch I ran into today, for example - my inspiration for this rant. I'm puttering around in Harris Teeter, minding my own business, when I am approached by a colleague (specifically, an ACQUAINTANCE, who I have spoke to once in my life at a conference...I don't even know her name). She immediately motions to my stomach and says, "How are you feeling?!" with a big ol' shit eating grin on her face. Like she knows me. Like she knows my uterus.
Taken by surprise, I awkwardly say, "Fine!" and smile back at her. To make sure SHE doesn't realize her error, to make sure SHE is comfortable. Then she says, "Well, you look GREAT!" and walks away - blissfully unaware that she has just wrecked my entire day.
Of note, this is not NEARLY this first time that this particular scenario has happened to me over the years. You would think I would be used to it by now, that I could just laugh it off - hell, maybe I should just give her a break, she was just trying to be NICE. And judging by the small amount of evidence I gathered about this woman's personality at that conference, I will tell you, she seems to be a perfectly nice person. Exceptionally nice, even. But this does not make the offense any less horrific.
I don't think I even need to delineate the specific levels of offensiveness, but I will anyway. When you ask a woman if she is pregnant, you:
1) Are essentially calling the person out, in public, for being overweight - or not appearing of "normal" body shape and size. Although, don't think anyone would be any less insulted if you did this in private.
2) Are taking a huge risk of damaging their emotional health, even if temporarily. You have no IDEA of their reproductive history and what you could be triggering. Let's just leave it at that.
3) Are really just being a total ass. You have no inkling of the extent their struggle with weight may have directly affected the fact that they are not currently pregnant (if they want to be). But thanks for bringing it up.
At this point, you may be saying to yourself, "Why give women all the flack? Men do this too!" Yes, yes they do. A lot. But men are dumb when it comes to this stuff (all but my loving husband, of course!). And in my opinion, and maybe in my dream world, a woman should have more sense, more empathy, more awareness.
But today, I was utterly disappointed. Thats all.
